Questions for New Couples (First Year)
Building a new relationship is exciting. These questions help you explore your partner's quirks, values, and story without feeling intense.
Early on, the goal is not depth — it is finding out whether your ordinary days would fit together. That is mostly made of small things: how someone spends a Sunday, how they react when plans collapse, what they do when they are tired. The first two sections stay light on purpose. The third gets slightly more serious, and is best saved until the relationship has some months behind it.
Everyday habits
The most underrated section. Compatibility in a long relationship is mostly compatibility on ordinary Tuesdays.
- 1What is something about your daily routine that would surprise me?
- 2What is your go-to comfort food when you've had a long week?
- 3What is a personal pet peeve of yours that I should know about?
- 4How do you prefer to spend your Friday nights after a busy week?
- 5What is your favorite way to unwind on a Sunday afternoon?
- 6How do you usually react when plans change at the last minute?
- 7Do you consider yourself more of an early bird or a night owl?
- 8What does your ideal morning actually look like?
- 9What is a chore you genuinely do not mind doing?
- 10How much alone time do you need in a normal week?
- 11What is your phone-in-the-evening habit honestly like?
- 12What is something small that ruins your mood more than it should?
What they enjoy
Easy, warm, and useful — this is where you find the things you could start doing together.
- 13What kind of vacation do you enjoy most: relaxing on a beach or exploring a new city?
- 14What was your favorite subject or interest when you were in school?
- 15What is one habit or skill you are currently trying to learn?
- 16Who is the person in your life that makes you laugh the most?
- 17What is something small that instantly brightens your day?
- 18What is a movie or show you could rewatch anytime without getting tired of it?
- 19What is a restaurant or meal you've been wanting to try lately?
- 20What is your favorite season of the year and why?
- 21What kind of music do you listen to when you're driving alone?
- 22What is something you would happily do every weekend?
- 23What is a place near here you love that I probably have not been to?
- 24What is something you are unreasonably enthusiastic about?
Gently looking ahead
Save these for a few months in. They are not heavy, but they do assume you have both decided this is going somewhere.
- 25What is something you are looking forward to in the coming months?
- 26What is a compliment someone gave you that you never forgot?
- 27What is a goal you have for yourself by the end of this year?
- 28What has been your favorite memory of us so far?
- 29What is something you have enjoyed about getting to know me?
- 30What is important to you in how a relationship works day to day?
- 31How do you like to handle it when something bothers you?
- 32What is something you are hoping I will ask you about?
- 33What does a good weekend together look like to you?
- 34What is something you would want me to know before things get serious?
- 35What is a pace that feels right to you?
- 36What is something you want to do together in the next few months?
Questions about these questions
- Are these too much for a first or second date?
- The first two sections are not. Habits and enjoyment questions are what a good early date is made of. The third section assumes a few months of history and would land oddly on date two.
- What if the answers reveal we are quite different?
- That is the questions working. Difference in habits is normal and often fine — the useful thing is finding out early which differences you both find interesting and which ones you would find exhausting.
- How do I keep it from feeling like a job interview?
- Answer everything you ask, and let a good tangent kill the rest of the list. Three questions and an hour of digression beats twenty questions answered in order.
Play these questions on your phone
Download LoveYug to play Would You Rather, Never Have I Ever, Pin Bluff, Word Rush and more couple games with your partner.