Spicy Questions for Couples
Flirty, romantic and a little bold. These questions are for couples who want to remember what the early days felt like.
Flirting is mostly pacing. Open with something nostalgic, let the answers get warmer, and only then ask the bold ones — a question that would be fun on question thirty can land badly as question one. The three sections below are ordered deliberately. Work down them, and stop wherever the conversation is going well rather than pushing to the end of the list.
Warm-up: how we started
Nostalgia is the safest way into a flirty conversation. These questions get you both remembering a time when you were actively trying to impress each other.
- 1What was your exact first thought when we met?
- 2When did you realize you were in love with me?
- 3Describe the best date we've ever been on.
- 4What is a song that instantly reminds you of us?
- 5Have you ever had a dream about me before we started dating?
- 6What is the most romantic thing I've ever done for you?
- 7What was your favorite moment from our first vacation together?
- 8What did you tell your friends about me after our first date?
- 9What was the first thing you noticed about me?
- 10When did you first want to kiss me?
- 11What is a moment early on when you thought you had no chance?
- 12How would you describe our chemistry in three words?
Compliments and attraction
These are the questions couples skip because the answers feel obvious. They are not obvious to the person hearing them, which is exactly why they are worth asking out loud.
- 13What is your favorite physical feature of mine?
- 14What outfit of mine is your absolute favorite?
- 15What is something I do that instantly turns you on?
- 16What is a small, non-physical thing I do that you find incredibly attractive?
- 17What is a compliment you wish I gave you more often?
- 18What is something subtle I do in public that gives you butterflies?
- 19When do you find me most attractive without me trying?
- 20What is something about me you noticed before I did?
- 21What do you find attractive now that you would not have five years ago?
- 22What is a look of mine you wish I wore more often?
- 23What is the last thing I did that you thought about later?
- 24What is something you find attractive that has nothing to do with how I look?
Bold: fantasies and firsts
Only go here if the first two sections went well. Answer these yourself first — asking a bold question you would not answer is the fastest way to shut the conversation down.
- 25What is a romantic fantasy you've never told me about?
- 26Where is the craziest place you'd want to make out?
- 27If we were the only two people left on Earth, what would our first day look like?
- 28What is your favorite memory of us in bed?
- 29What is the most daring thing you'd be open to trying together?
- 30If you could plan the ultimate romantic weekend, what would we do?
- 31What is something you have wanted to ask for but haven't?
- 32What is a fantasy that is more about the setting than anything else?
- 33What is something you would try once purely out of curiosity?
- 34What is the boldest thing you have ever done to get someone's attention?
- 35What is a boundary of yours you want me to know about clearly?
- 36What would you want a whole weekend alone together to look like?
Questions about these questions
- How do we keep spicy questions from feeling awkward?
- Answer first. If you ask a bold question and immediately give your own honest answer, your partner is responding to a conversation rather than an interrogation. Awkwardness usually comes from one person asking and the other performing.
- Are these appropriate for a new relationship?
- The first section is. The warm-up questions work from the first few dates onward. The bold section assumes an established relationship and a conversation you have both opted into.
- What if one of us wants to stop?
- Stop. A boundary named once should not need to be named twice. Respecting a stop is what makes it safe to be bold in the first place.
Play these questions on your phone
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